It was a hot, late summer day. The dirt on the diamond would billow up into a sand cloud as the wind brushed past it. The sounds of crazy girls running around the diamonds and hanging out with their friends echoed throughout the complex. The scent of the concession popcorn machine still remained even though the stand was closed during tryouts. My feet dangled from the bleachers. I was about 11 years old. My mom had a serious surgery the year before during tryouts and I was not able to tryout, so this was my very first time trying out for softball team. I loved softball and I loved watching my sister play softball. This was finally my chance to make it a passion and continue to play. I had worked so hard with my sister. I was her catcher. We would play catch in the backyard constantly. I would catch for her as she pitched even when she was being super mean to me. It was what we did on a Saturday when other friends would be watching TV or going to the beach. I anxiously sat there as my dad talked with one of the coaches to see if my sister and I made it. He started to turn around and walk back with his silver hair glistening in the late day sun. I ran up to meet him and asked, “What did they say? What did they say?” He very smoothly replied, “I’ll tell you in the car.”

Well the walk to the car was the longest ever. I was hoping my dad didn’t want to tell me because he didn’t want others around to hear the news in case they had not made the team. But this was not the case. When we got in the car my dad had proceeded to tell me that they did not think that I was ready for the team yet. I was crushed. I felt like all my opportunities were taken away. How could they know all of this without giving me a chance? I know I’m a hard worker and would learn and get better. My sister, on the other hand, made the team. She was older than me and stronger. She was a left handed pitcher who had good speed. She had played travel ball for the past 2 years. She was good.  The other girls that made the team were people I did not know. They may have been bigger, stronger, older and more experienced. Regardless of this fact, I was crushed. Internally something changed in me that day. 

I had one of two options. I could either sulk and complain and put the blame on the coach and let it ruin my love for the game, or I could dust myself off and put my big girl pants on and take matters into my own hands. Softball was important to me. I wanted to prove to myself and others that I had what it took to be a softball player. From that point forward I decided that I would not only be the hardest worker, but I would also be the smartest worker. I would do all of the little things no matter what. I would be the first to practices and lessons and the last to leave. During the time I made this decision I was also changing physically and athletically. I was getting stronger by doing things to make myself better. I was coachable and more in tune to making adjustments and crazy things started to happen. I started to get noticed.

The next season came along and I made the team. But my work did not stop there. I did not take making the team for granted. Other people that once were the best of the best and the talk of the town started to plateau. They no longer continued to improve, but I was improving. I was improving by leaps and bounds. Because I saw the fruits of my labor and was being rewarded with progress, it continued to kindle the fire within me. I continued to stay disciplined and focused on my goals. Eventually, I was on the elite travel program of the area, broke state records at my high school, became a state champion with my team and even became an All-American. I often wonder if I would have had this same work ethic if I had not gotten cut from that first team. Would I have ever developed the same work ethic? If I started on top would I have plateaued because things would have come to easily to me? 

This topic was brought to my attention because this is the time of year when girls get cut from high school softball teams. No coach enjoys cuts. All coaches are different. A girl at a large school might not make her varsity team until she is a junior but if that same girl was at a small school, she might start her freshman year on the varsity team. One coach might keep a senior that does not play and another coach might take the underclassman who is the better player rather than rely on seniority. Some coaches want small teams. Some schools might have 4 catchers and not enough other positions so he or she might have to cut a catcher to keep another position.  I am a high school coach that has to make cuts. Sometimes I have to cut former students that I have had the pleasure of teaching during their middle school years. It is not personal, although it feels like it is when it I have to deliver the news. I work with catchers and give them lessons all throughout the year. I want for every single one of them to make the team they are trying out for to reach their goals, but I know that not everyone’s story is the same. Not everyone’s journey looks like this. But guess what? Sometimes there is beauty that comes out of a little mess. Sometimes after the valley, is a large, beautiful mountain and you’re on your way up. Just maybe this little bump in the road will serve for a new fresh perspective and allow you to rise through adversity.  If you are one of those that have been sadly snipped from a team, let me lovingly offer some advice to you:

1. It is not the end of your story- If you were the very best at everything you did from the second you began whatever that activity was, then what joy would there be when you continued to win? It would just be an expectation at that point. It would become boring. Sometimes there is a greater appreciation and value of something when the road is a little bumpy and you’ve had to work hard at attaining it. Usually when you feel as though you are at your lowest point, you are on the brink of something great. If you research any of the top athletes or read a book of thiers, I’m sure they will share a moment like yours that they’ve had to overcome in their athletic journeys. I have a blog post that outlines Derek Jeter, Michael Jordan and even Jennie Finch’s defining moments in their careers. Those defining moments were growing pains. They were times when they did make the team, had a crushing loss or had the worst season of their careers. If they would have stopped their journeys then and there, they would have never become the amazing athletes that they were. You need to make the choice that this is not the end of your journey. Use this as motivation to propel you forward and work harder and smarter toward your goal. 

2. Be yourself - Sometimes it is easy during tryouts when we are around new people we have not met and talented people who hit the ball hard and make diving plays, we start to try to emulate them. We think all of a sudden that we also have to hit the ball over the fence just like them and that be need to have fancy plays just like them. One of the best pieces of advice that I have ever received was to STAY WITHIN YOURSELF. What this means is that when you are on a big stage or when you are in the championship game or when you are at tryouts for the first time for the varsity team,  continue to do the things that have gotten you to this point in your playing career. Continue to do your own mechanics. Try not to copy other people. Try to be yourself and stay true to the mechanics that have gotten you to where you are in that moment. When you stay true to yourself and control what you can control instead of trying to do crazy, fancy things that are foreign to you, you give yourself the best chance for success. You will find the most success when you are being yourself.

3.  Have a good attitude - Refrain from having a negative attitude towards the girls who made the team and the coach from that point forward. I understand this is a difficult thing and easier said than done, but when you can avoid harboring negative feelings, you can better control your attitude. A negative mindset can go get you down a slippery slope quite quickly. I have seen many players come up with excuses based on accusations of things that are out of their control. Remember that you cannot change the opinions of others, but you do have control over two things: your attitude and your effort. If you protect those two things are you are on the right path. 

4. Take accountability - The easiest thing you can do in a situation where you have been cut from a team is to place blame on the coach or other girls. Although it can be extremely frustrating and disappointing and you think the coach has something out for you, the truth is that regardless, you need to take accountability of the situation. Did you do everything perfectly in the tryout? Probably not. I know that is difficult to admit, but think of all the ways you could have stood out more to the coach. Did you do all of those things? What was your weakest aspect of your tryout. What did the coach say were your weak spots when you were cut? What are 3 things you will do every day that are 10 minutes each that will help you improve in that area. If you are really serious about improving and showing your best stuff, this daily accountability is what will take you there. Take ownership of the situation. Ask coaches what you need to improve on. Get lessons. Do the very little things that you need to set yourself above the rest. Maybe you are already doing these things. Keep doing them. The longer you do them, the more they will pay off. I promise.

5. Prove them wrong - Remember how you felt in that moment that you were being given the words that you did not make the team? Take those words and that feeling to heart and remember them every time you are not feeling motivated. Tell yourself that this is not true and that you will prove those coaches wrong in your play, practice and attitude. Use this as fuel when you feel like you’re at empty. Find opportunities to get extra repetitions so that you can better yourself on your own. Reach out to coaches on your leagues and let them know you can be an extra player if they are ever short players. Find camps to go to in order to give you good coaching instruction. Research mechanics and philosophies on the internet in your spare time. Become a student of the game as if you were a softball coach yourself. In this day and age there is so much free information on the Internet. If it is truly important to you, you will find creative ways to make yourself the best you can be.