When you lose your “why” you lose your way.

When the going gets tough and you are faced with challenges and failures, what is your mindset? Do you get discouraged or do push through? What helps you push through? Of course, we would all like to think that we have the desire, will power and stamina to get past difficult times, however we never truly know the answer to this question until we are faced with a setback. In order to give ourselves the best chance of success when going through difficult times, we must be sure to have a strong reason for doing the things that we are doing. If we have a strong reasoning, we will most likely be able to fight through adversity because there is a reason we are doing it. There is a reason to find an answer that works and to make improvements along the way.

If what we had an easy ladder to the top, everyone would be successful. Think about your school teachers. Everyone knows that there are some teachers that have the easiest of tests and quizzes. You might not have to put a lot of work in, you might not have to study and you might not even have much homework, but simply by showing up and doing what is asked of you, you are given a fabulous grade. Do you feel very proud of this grade? Does it seem like you worked your butt off and earned that grade? There are also those teachers that are extremely difficult. You have to put the time and effort into getting anything remotely close to what you consider to be a good grade. It might take hours of sleepless nights, cancelling plans and dissecting what the teacher was talking about, but once you get that great grade, isn’t is worth it? Don’t you feel proud of yourself? You know that there are correct answers on the test and you know that other people have been successful with them in the past, but it is more difficult to get to that outstanding grade. If it were easy, most everyone would be successful which wouldn’t make it as meaningful. It might take a year full of getting a low grade, or even failing grades to get that excellent grade, but once you get it, you know that your character and learning was shaped through that year.

What is your reasoning for being successful on the softball field? Why do you want the goals that you have? What will that mean for you? How will that make you feel? How will that make others around you feel? What opportunities will this open for you?

If someone’s goals were to get good grades their “why” might be that they would like to get into a good college and receive an academic scholarship. This might be meaningful so that they set their lives up for success. Having good grades can make a person have numerous opportunities to pursue their dream college. This will decrease their student loans they will be acquiring and help their family out. This will be meaningful because it will mean that they work hard for their dreams and reach that goal of obtaining a career in whatever they think they would like to do. Having good grades builds a foundation of good work ethic, discipline and determination. These characteristics are not only good for building multiple opportunities but it builds a foundation for success in life. Identifying your why and writing it down will give you a strong reason to keep going when you encounter failures. It will help you to focus on the bigger picture rather than fixate on a temporary setback.

My personal “why” in softball when I was growing up was because I wanted to get a division 1 athletic scholarship. Softball gave me confidence. It was fun. It taught me to be successful and learn from failure to be the best I could be. It gave me sisters that I could lean on and count on when things got messy. The game treated everyone fairly. It was a way that I could express myself and show my talents. I knew that it would help my family financially if I could have a full ride to a college. Softball helped keep me focused academically and socially. I was a leader on and off the softball field to my teammates. Softball gave me so much and I knew that is the reason I played. Getting a scholarship would allow me to demonstrate that I remained focused academically, athletically and personally. It was my goal that pushed all the other goals in my life down. When I achieved my softball goal of obtaining a softball scholarship to a division 1 college, I knew I would simultaneously be achieving a whole bunch of other things in the process. When things got tough and I questioned by abilities and talents, I would remind myself of why I played and that helped me get through the difficulty.

We often think that those who have more are at an advantage when in pursuit of their “why.” We often use that as an excuse when we don’t make a goal. We say, “Oh, I didn’t have access to the resources. My coach wasn’t good. My parents don’t have money for that. I don’t live in California.” Someone else might have more money to get on the showcase team, better support from their family, better access to amazing instructors, more talented teammates, etc. This is no excuse. Take, for example, the Wright brothers in their pursuit to be the first people to build a successful airplane. Getting an aircraft to fly was the hot thing to try back in their day. A huge competitor of theirs was Samuel Langley. Both the Wright Brothers and Langley were on the pursuit to discover how to fly an airplane. Langley was a famous astronomer and scientist who had every resource imaginable to become successful. He had the best minds working for him with a full-time staff and a $50,000 grant from the government to help aide his endeavor. He had access to powerful people and had friends in high places. The New York Times followed his journey to finding a way to fly a plane. Langley was in pursuit of the riches and fame that the discovery might bring. Yet, how come no one has heard of Samuel Langley and why didn’t he make a mark on flying?

A few hundred miles away, the Wright Brothers did not have money to spend on their resources. They paid for their dreams with the proceeds of their bicycle shop. Not a single person on their team had a college education. What they did have, however was a strong “Why” and a team that was in agreement with their “Why.” They tirelessly believed in the cause and supported them with every ounce of their work. On December 17, 1903 the Wright brothers took flight and no one was there to experience it. The media was not with them. The government was not there. The rest of the world found out a few days later.

We know that Langley did not have a strong why because in light of the success of the Wright brothers, Langley quits his pursuit of flying that very same day he found out they had discovered how to fly. Instead of teaming up with the Wright brothers to make their prototype better or researching ways that worked for them, he just simply quit everything he had worked so hard for.

Find your why. Write it down. Read it when times get tough. Be tougher than your competition. Be resourceful. Be like the Wright brothers and find a way even when there could be a million excuses.