I made my high school varsity softball team when I was an eighth grader. I was so proud of that fact that I had made the team when I was so young. I put in extraordinary amounts of work and could have been the success story of motto “you can do anything if you couple it with hard work.” I never thought that I was blessed with lots of talent, but I was a great student of the game. I listened intently to everything my coaches said and ate it up, almost to a fault.  I would analyze everything about my swing, my aggression, my mechanics and it helped me to be the best ball player I could be in high school. My eighth grade season was an amazing, yet intimidating experience. I was able to learn from the 7 seniors and the leadership that they exuded. Our high school team was not one that was up one season and down the next. This was a team of excellence. Each year we would be a serious contender for the state championship. We had depth in our pitching, we had talent at the plate and were sound defensively.

When it came time for playoffs we had high hopes for our team. It was the sectional championship game and we were losing to Amherst High School. Their team had a controlling pitcher that would make anyone on our team look small. Our team struggled offensively to get anything going. I did not start this game. 

It ended up being the bottom of the 7th inning when I got my chance to make or break the game. The score was 5-2 and there were runners on first and third base. I was up with two outs. I’m pretty sure I was literally shaking at the plate. I had never been in a situation so much bigger than myself. Of course I had been in similar situations for my travel team, but I had never been in a situation where my act could either make or break the game. I don’t remember much of the at bat other than me connecting with the ball and watching it sail between the short stop and third baseman. I had done it! I got a hit! We scored a run! I was so proud of myself. I delivered in a pressure situation and there was no better feeling. Unfortunately, we ended up losing that game shortly thereafter, but I was still excited that I was able to perform under such pressure.

The next year I was a freshman. I had a year of experience and was still younger than everyone on the team. My confidence on the field, however was much greater. I had earned a starting role in my favorite position which was catcher and was a leading contributor to the offense. That year we had two outstanding seniors. One of them, Caitlin Lever, was going to a division I college, which eventually transferred to Georgia Tech, a top 10 college softball school at the time and later played for Canada on their Olympic team.

This year for playoffs we had made it past the sectional final. I’m not even sure what the score of the final was, but we were so excited to make it to the regional final, which put us in the top 8 in the state. With the win of the regional game, we would go to the state final four at the state championships.  In the regional game, we would play a team with a future collegiate all-American named Brandice Balschmiter. She was 6 foot 1 and the girl that caught for her was equally as tall.  It was the top of the 6th inning and we were down 2-1. We had a runner, Caitlin Lever, at third base. She was fast, she was agile, and she was the real deal. A ball in play would be all she would need to manufacture a run. I was up at the plate and there was one out.

As any smart coach would call in this situation, my coach gave me the sign that I was anticipating. He gave me the sign for the suicide squeeze. I acknowledged that I received the signal and Caitlin acknowledged from third base that she received it too. All I had to do was get the pitch down and on release of the ball from the pitcher, Caitlin would be motoring to steal home. We went through this so many times in practice. I knew exactly what I needed to do and I was super confident in my execution. The pitch came. I recognized it as a change up. The change up was sky high, way over my bat. I’m not quite sure why I did what I did next. I drew my bat back as the pitch came, like it was a sacrifice bunt. What had I just done? I will never forget looking wide eyed at Caitlin as she was 10 feet from my yelling, “It was a suicide!” with her arms up as she tried to stop to change directions.

My next hope was that maybe the catcher did not catch the ball. After all, that ball was sky high over my head. I looked back and the over 6 foot catcher stood confidently with the ball as she ran down Caitlin to successfully get her out. I knew at this point that I had let everyone down. I do not remember if I grounded out or ran to first from a drop third strike next but what I do remember is after I hit first base I broke down in tears. How could I have been such an error at such a crucial moment? This was our opportunity to tie the game. I’m supposed to deliver in these types of situations! I was devastated about this for quite some time. Caitlin was so gracious about everything after that game.  She gave me a big hug and told me that everything was fine and it was not my fault. I’m not sure that I believed her, but boy was this a learning experience for me.

After that experience, I made myself a promise. I would never let my team down with a brain lapse like that again. I would not let my pride get in the way. I needed to remain humble in every situation and focus on the task at hand. If I had succeeded in this situation, maybe I would have continued to get a big head and have more pride in my play. Going through this experience actually helped me to be level headed and team oriented. I now thought of myself as a piece of the puzzle that had to do my best to hold up my end of the bargain. There was no reason for me to be slacking off at any time during practice because I needed to work on things just as much as the next person. I needed to focus on being focused all game long for each little inning.

The following year we had to face the same team in the regional finals. Talk about a rematch. We were so excited and pumped up for this game. As a sophomore, this is the year my sister and another close friend were seniors. We were determined to win.  We were a close-knit, passionate and driven team. This time we were ahead 2-1 in the 6thinning. The catcher from the year before was on second base in scoring position. She was the only one on the base path. I was catching. I’m honestly not sure what she was thinking at this point in the game. She must have been having a similar experience as I did the year before. As she led off of second base, she took a really aggressive lead. As we had practiced numerous times before, I ran at her with the ball. The girl froze between second and third base. She was waiting for me to throw the ball and I was waiting for her to commit to a base. I literally ran all the way out to her in the short stop area and just as I neared her, she decided to move toward third base. I ran her down and tagged her with the ball. We then had two outs with no runners on. We ended up winning that game against them with the score of 2—1 and went on to the state final 4. We won states and ended the year with the perfect season going 28-0. It was an awesome finale for my sister’s senior year. I was so pleased that all of our hard work, dedication and focus throughout each and every part of the game paid off.

When you are faced with a failure, you have one of two decisions, you can feel sorry for yourself and wallow in your despair or you can use that experience to learn from and make you better. The failure I had when I was a freshman was an experience that I will never forget. Of course I am sad that it ended our team’s season, but I don’t think I would have learned from it the way that I had if it did not happen to me. I am so grateful that an experience like that helped me learn and mature in the sport and in life. I know now that failures are things that we can learn from and grow from. It might hurt in the time that it happens, but by accepting it, learning from it and moving on we can become stronger and more resilient in the long run.

I could go on forever talking about different personal stories and analogies related to failure, famous athletes’ quotes or how extreme pressure creates the finest of diamonds, but the fact is that sometimes we have to go through these things personally in order for us to really understand and a concept. When you go through these difficult times, know that they are just refining you to become stronger mentally and physically in the long run.

A wise person once said that those who experience too much success too quickly are often the people who are the most unbearable to be around. I couldn’t find this any more true. Those who are only successful in their lives grow a large ego that surrounds them in the way they carry themselves, their comments and their judgments to others. One that has worked hard and gone through hills and valleys to get where they are become more understanding, supportive and humble individuals.