Think of your favorite athlete or your favorite team. What do you remember about them? You probably think of the good plays, the championships and the best moments of their careers. Rarely do we remember a time before that player encountered their greatness. Maybe you do remember the past of an athlete and value them because of his or her story. The truth is, everyone has a past and a story before their greatness. Almost all great actors and actresses, sports players or singers have a defining moment (or two) in their careers.

A defining moment is a point in life that urges you to make a pivotal decision or when you experience something that fundamentally changes you. Not only do these moments define us, but they have a transformative effect on our perceptions and behaviors. The moment does not have to be dramatic, but simply something that has had a meaningful impact on you. Sometimes the defining moment can be perceived as a failure, but is actually something that fuels a person to work harder, focus on what matters or increase their mental capacity in a different way. In other words, a defining moment is something that helps you to step back, make a change and helps to shape who you are. Not everyone responds the same way to adversity. With each situation, whether good or bad, you have a choice to either get discouraged from a situation or look positively at the situation as a learning experience. Those athletes who have risen above the rest are those who have responded to failure as a learning experience or as fuel to motivate them into another level in their careers. Three athletes in particular have used adversity in their lives to become defining moments in their lives.

It’s difficult to think about defining moments without thinking of Michael Jordan. Any sports lover has heard of the story of the 15-year old sophomore getting sent down to the JV team after varsity tryouts at Employ A Laney High School. Jordan was only 5’10” at the time, but one of his good friends made the team who was 6’7”. Jordan has often talked about how embarrassed he was at not making the team. He locked himself in his room after he saw the roster and cried. Jordan turned that failure into motivation. Any time he would work out, he would close his eyes and see the locker room list without his name on it and it would serve to push him to another level. That year he put up multiple 40-point games and brought huge crowds that were unprecedented for a JV basketball game. Ultimately, this failure led to the discipline of the world’s best basketball player in history. It leads you to wonder, had Jordan not experienced this failure, would he have become the world’s best basketball player?

Derek Jeter had talent and leadership skills from a young age which is evident in his book, The Life You Imagine. People saw the talent in him and he quickly made it to the big leagues. After being a first round draft pick, signing a professional contract at 18 years old with the New York Yankees and a signing bonus of $800,000, Jeter was under a lot of pressure at a young age. Although he was voted the finest high school player in the nation, his first year was not as picture perfect as you might think. His first day on the job ended with him going 0 for 7 with 5 strikeouts, and he failed to get a hit in his first 14 at bats on his Class A Tampa Rookie League team. His first year was a struggle at the plate. Even after his hitting picked up in his second season, his defense struggled tremendously. He ended up having 56 errors in 126 games in his second season of class A ball. The Yankees ended up sending Jeter to an instructional league after his second season. Right after he was told about the instructional league, Jeter got drilled in the hand by a line drive in his left hand. This meant that he could no longer grip a bat for a long time in order to allow the hand to heal properly. This was a blessing in disguise so that Jeter could focus on his defense and hone in on his weaknesses. It was not until he devoted all of his attention to step away from the big game and break down his mechanics in an intense way that he was able to really see improvements in his game. The year after the instructional league (1994), he cut his errors by more than 50 precent making 25 errors and by 1998 he only made 9 in 149 games. The beginning struggle allowed him to understand how to overcome challenges throughout his career. It helped him to regain confidence to be stronger than ever. His defining moment was his response to his first two years in the minor leagues.

Jennie Finch talks about a couple instances that could be considered her defining moment in her book, Throw Like a Girl. One of her defining moments was when a travel coach told her that she did not have what it would take to be a championship level pitcher. The coach’s daughter was a pitcher and would pitch all of the big games leaving Jennie with no opportunities. Jennie was devastated by the words that the coach told her but used it as motivation to fuel her discipline to bring her game to the next level. She chose to believe that coach was wrong and learned to rise above the negativity in his instance.

The second defining moment she experienced was when she was a sophomore pitching in the rival game against Arizona State when she was a pitcher at Arizona University. She had a pretty good season so far and was given the ball to pitch a game against their rival, Arizona State. She was excited to have the ball in this game as the game always split their state in half with fans on either side of the field. It was known that the Wildcats, ranked 2nd in the nation, never lose to the Sun Devils, who were ranked 4th in the nation at the time. In fact, they hadn’t lost to them in the last 38 games! Unfortunately, Jennie lost that game 3-1 after giving up a 3 run homer in the 4th inning on a meatball pitch. The loss to the Sun Devils cut deep. Usually Jennie was composed and put together after losses, but this one was different. She told her dad that she never wanted to lose again. It shaped her desire and work ethic from that point forward. Fortunately, Jennie took the loss to heart taking ownership for her shortcomings instead of making an excuse for the loss. After that loss, Jennie set an NCAA record for consecutive wins pitching 60 collegiate wins in a row while picking up a national title along the way. It wasn’t until mid way through her senior season that she lost again. That loss got Finch refocused to work harder than she ever did before. She could have blamed the loss on the umpire or a lucky swing or resorted to the fact that she just might not have had it that day, but she took ownership of her shortcoming and used it to become her strength.

All this to say, the next time you think things are not going your way, use it as a learning experience. Maybe there is a coach that doesn’t believe in you, maybe you didn’t make a team, maybe you aren’t a starter, perhaps you feel responsible for a loss in the championship game, maybe you are in the slump of your life, but just think, you could be on the brink of the best moments in your career. With every valley there is a peak and you are simply a choice away from experiencing greatness. Use this valley as your defining moment. Without these defining moments Jennie Finch, Derek Jeter and Michael Jordan might not have been as great as they became. Those stories are just a few of the millions of stories that are out there. Do not be discouraged, instead be stirred inside to reach a place you’ve never been before. There is nothing wrong with a little struggle. You have the final choice.